Releasing the dream

Wednesday, October 24

Those of you who have read my blog for any length of time know I’m all for following one’s dream.  As recently as the previous post, I referred to the Perfect Tow Vehicle as “my dream-catcher.”

Ah, yes.  My dream.  

Wide-open spaces.  Nature.  Solitude.  Peace.

The dream that started it all:

Retirement.  A 17-foot travel trailer.   A van with which to pull it and carry supplies and equipment.  A stack of road atlases to help me find free, public land in the western states.   Me and my canine crew traveling and living on the road.

Life untethered.

Freedom!

Fast forward . . .

Another dream appears.

Silently, as if a dream . . .

A dream of two sisters enjoying a harmonious companionship while sharing a home and their daily lives. In hindsight that dream was improbable — actually, downright ridiculous.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, and I went ahead with it anyway.

The dream wasn’t based in reality.  

“Caw!  Caw!”

Those sisters in my dream were imagined sisters.

They’re not who we are.

We’re going in different directions.

When it becomes undeniably obvious that the dream is a leaf in the wind, a puff of smoke, a figment of imagination, a (insert your own cliche here) . . . .

My sister and her cute little dog went elsewhere (her business, not ours).  Reggie, Roger, and I remain at the house.

That’s our present reality.

~ ~ ~

“Where’s the silver lining, RVSue?”

“Surely you can find some good in all this, RVSue.”

We will see clearly.

Yes, I can and I did.

It comes to me one balmy, breezy day after being outside filling the bird feeders.  I open the door, step inside, and instantaneously make an announcement.

You know how you say words out loud without thinking first?

A revelation springs from an inner source and shoots straight to the vocal chords.

 Like gulls?  (I resent that.)

The sleepy neurotransmitters in the brain, those assigned the task of processing and emitting thought messages, are caught snoozing, I guess.

I gotta’ say though . . .

Absentmindedness does have its good points.

“Not absentminded.  What you see here is focus, people.”

I step into the house and the words pop out.  

“Gosh, I love this place!  I truly do love this place!”

“Aww . . . It’s about time you got it, RVSue.”

Gratitude overwhelms.

Thank you, God, for the blessing of this home.  The boys and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the dream.

“Hmm . . . interesting connection, RVSue.” 

I ask, as one does:  

“Was that You, God?”   

The truth is I never would’ve bought this property without the prompting of the “sisters dream.”

“Such a crazy idea in your head.  And they call ME a turkey.”

I wouldn’t have given two seconds of consideration for this house.

Guidance.  Without guidance we don’t know which way to go. 

Gee . . . The house is more than Reg, Rog, and I need.

Gosh . . . The yard and the house are too much for a “mature lady” to maintain.

Besides . . . The property requires too much mortgage for me to carry.

Mortgage?  What’s that?”

No, not practical.  It’s too much in every way . . . .

Well, that’s what I would’ve thought.

If it hadn’t been for “the dream” leading me forward.

Prepared to jump over any obstacle . . .

As it turns out, this place isn’t too much.

“What’s that, you say?”

It isn’t too much.

I’ll maintain it.  I’ll handle the mortgage.  My boys and I can be happy here.

No, it isn’t too much.

Not at all.

It’s a cup overflowing.

rvsue

~ ~ ~

PLEASE READ THIS NOTE BEFORE COMMENTING.

I shared more in this post than I really wanted   All the encouragement, enthusiasm, and support sent to us by blogorinos (for which I am most appreciative) obliges me to explain why the dream crashed and burned.

However, there are privacy issues that must be considered.  For that important reason, I’m not going into any more detail.   Not in the post and not in comments.

No questions please.  Don’t even bring it up.  No “I’m so sorry” or “I knew it wouldn’t work.”  Nothing relating to shared households, two women in a kitchen, blah-blah, none of it.

Nada.

Here’s why:  My experience in blogging is that the most innocent, kind, innocuous comment signals others that the topic is open.  A thread begins and a discussion ensues. Inferences are made and there we go, off the rails.

Which means I’m unable to sleep.  I get up throughout the night to monitor comments and delete or edit those that go too far. The last time that happened I decided I’m not going to go through that ever again.

I assure those who care:  Yes, I was sad and disappointed for a while.  That is over.  I’m happy, and Reg and Rog are happy, too.

Suggestion:  What is YOUR dream?  Do you plan to travel in an RV someday?  Are you already “living on the road?”

Please feel free to introduce other topics, as you wish.  Thank you! — Sue

~ ~ ~

“Flock together in harmony, alight in unison, float together in peace.” — Egret Community, February 17, 2016.

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Posted in At home in Arizona | Tagged , , , , | 222 Comments