Not another chirp out of you, perp!

I have to take care of some unfinished business.

While looking over some recent posts, I notice one seems unfinished.  In “Do you suffer from PDS?” I wrote about a dog-kibble-robbing bird and I neglected to identify what kind of bird it is.  This will not do.  I need to feed my inner perfectionist.

It’s time for some investigative police work.

I devise a plan.  The suspect has established a pattern that I can use to my advantage.  He enters the premises twice a day, early morning and early evening.  This calls for a stake-out.

I position myself on a stool  and prepare to wait.  I’ve got my Kindle at the ready (no doughnuts available).  I’m in the hallway just around the corner from the crime scene.  It’s 6:30 p.m.  The perp should be arriving any minute now.

What’s funny is Spike.  Whenever I change my very predictable behavior or do something he has doubts about, he gets really close.  I guess he’s thinking, “Oh boy.  She’s going to do something dumb again.  I better be nearby, just in case.”  Or maybe he wants a good laugh.  Who knows.  Anyway.

Spike and I sit and wait . . .

. . . and wait.  I try to read my Kindle.  I’m uncomfortable.  Spike starts to doze off.   Okay.  Enough of this.  This is ridiculous.  A watched pot never boils.  I go back to the bedroom.  Spike dutifully follows.

Well, of course, once I’m on the bed with the laptop, and Spike is in a state of semi-driftwood, I hear it.  At this point I’m pretty sure it’s a cardinal.  I can tell by his song.  Song?  Not hardly.  That’s not a song.  It’s that awfully rude noise made when you have something caught in your teeth and you suck in air to dislodge it. You probably have a brother-in-law who does it after Thanksgiving dinner.  Very obnoxious.  So my bet is on a cardinal because cardinals have the worst “song” of all the birds in North America, maybe even the world!

I creep down the hall.

(My partner Spike doesn’t even open an eye.)  I peek around the corner and aha!  There he is!  . . .in his little red suit and pointy hat, perched on the edge of the dog dish, chirping “Oh Happy Day” in cardinal-speak.  I wait to see him actually pick up a piece of kibble in his beak and fly off with it, but he senses he’s being watched.

Out the door he goes!

Sure, all I’ve got is circumstantial evidence, but, as anyone who has seen Law and Order knows,  it’s enough to establish guilt!

“You did it, didn’t you! Well? Need I remind you you’re under oath?”

rvsue